House of Wax/Open It Back up
We have scotch in common
ending up in a weepy but we must be dead now.
My name is two spiders but I’m the same person, a playgirl.
I bought all the hairclips and didn’t use any
I died all the orange hangy-down deaths
I hoarded those hairclips I thought they looked 80s
and it’s been a month since black rosary anything.
Isn’t it nice to lean against a live pillow
to put on a jumpsuit and be called a whore?
The makeups tutorials a horror fantasia
as you say we’re entering our sexual peak.
Bloodlet, I throw back the bunny ear comfort
pack it in before I switch on the Predicta TV
sad as the long-lashed deer
and it’s too hot in here but maybe I’m getting used to it
but I won’t get through to you before nighttime comes on.
House of Wax/Good Scotch for Pain
I told the girls I was in the sleeping bag
with Charlie but there was no emergency
the cat’s ears soft and pink over the coals
the taxidermist saved 800 chickens
and winter’s the season for taxidermy
blue hair and traitors pink throats and pull it together
and it’s in bad taste
and it’s in bad therapy
and I dream my nails drip
and I dream I string the big deer
and you’re all terrible
and I dream I want you to die
and sometimes I give up communing with darkness
and this works best if you don’t
believe my experiment
except when we drink.
Madcap/Mari Lwyd
You’ll get in trouble you keep speaking your mind
stuck in this house stuck in the dark
relief gets no sign.
I don’t want to turn to the bottle but how can I not
I can’t hardly stand
silver trees and the faux leopard coats
full moons and corpse hunts under the meteor
showers mean nothing. We colorize we codify
domestic scenes so they’re cozy.
I won’t be happy until I embarrass
hide the baubles away until I saturate
and Christmas lights burn for two days straight
after a murder. His heart on the branch
and me licking the spoon in the tinny play kitchen.
What was time like what a haunt/what a hole
stuck in the horse costume
madcap, it’s a lie as my body tries to adjust
to the clean hair game and the wasted foreboding
and the lack of trust
sadness lighting the wicks of all dead candles
in my candle crown and you’ll smell like fish
if you let us burn
all the clothes in your kitchen.
I try to focus write down older numbers
I try to take my drugs and just go
I ask was it because of the vampires
No? You think you’re getting your way
all you’re doing is chasing the ghosts
behind the wood panels.
I was going to be modern and honest
I was going to stop being noir scum
Madcap/When She Gets Lit She Glows
I can’t stand the tell-all the rosary ghosts
Harlean holding the wreath.
I wear a black leotard look for an excuse
feel like I deserve some vestige of sophistication.
You know how you feel
pink washing out
you know if your ear’s blowing up.
You know psychodrama shampoo, finger wave
heat greeting you empty hours in the empty house
twisting the ribbon like pregnancy.
You know the girl story and even cat-eyeliner
and lack of lace a woman alone
bulky not delicate the lack of turning in focus.
I turn on my hip like the old paper Christmas tree
a blue ten-speed bike for each leg
I lie like my story comes from the dead
a mechanical lamp that could knock us both out
and hey I have a name for the bare shelves at sunset
I have a name for the beer you won’t drink
and how you won’t drive anywhere.
I have a name for my bare self
like in the present wherever you are
with your greasy hair you cover your ass like a bullet.
And I don’t want to walk I just want to cry
I’m bored by the world the old TVs and mirror spirits.
I don’t feel like I’m worth it
and I’m so drunk I can’t even
make my way to the bedroom
and I’m so drunk I don’t even
know my own face as we vacuum out babies
Jessie Janeshek’s second full-length book of poetry is The Shaky Phase (Stalking Horse Press, 2017). Her chapbooks are Spanish Donkey/Pear of Anguish (Grey Book Press, 2016), Rah-Rah Nostalgia (dancing girl press, 2016), Supernoir (Grey Book Press, 2017), Hardscape (Reality Beach, forthcoming), and Auto-Harlow (Shirt Pocket Press, forthcoming). Invisible Mink (Iris Press, 2010) is her first full-length collection. Read more at jessiejaneshek.net.