This is the story of one of those men
driving his pick-up truck
to the airport to board a flight
for Florida, to visit the other man,
some dozen years later. This is the story
of the love these two men still
have for one another. One man’s
name is John, he lives in Florida,
and the other man’s name is Len.

Len still loves John and this visit
happens just before the big hurricane.
Len’s rented a camcorder.
Len wants to record this visit.
This is Len’s visit before his surgery,
before the hurricane. John pretends
he doesn’t want to be recorded, but he does.
Len wants to be recorded before his surgery.

In this recording Len imitates John’s dog.
The dog’s name is Chaos. Chaos, the dog,
John and Len are all in the recording.
John and Len use a camcorder
to record one another, before the hurricane.
They take turns recording one another.
Len is recording John and then
John records Len. Len records
John taking a bath, Len records
Len in the mirror recording John
taking a bath. Len records John
playing with his nephews, John playing
his records, John playing with Chaos.

Len is recording John playing with Chaos.
John records Len playing with Chaos.
Len is shirtless playing with Chaos
and there’s some kind of sick
pleasure in all this recording:
the blurry lens, John caressing Len,
as if this were some seductive attempt
to take him back to those years
when we thought it was ok
to fuck in a pick-up truck
on the first date. John doesn’t
want Len to have surgery,
he loves Len just the way
he is, the way he was.

John is still recording,
because he wants to preserve everything
just the way it was; John
has asked Len to drive to the airport so John
can continue recording him.
Len does as John asks,
because after all these years
and not much real love in between,
Len feels the least he can do,
is everything John asks.

John is recording Len driving
his pick-up truck, just before the hurricane’s
scheduled to hit. Len’s in a hurry
to catch a flight back to Texas just
before the hurricane. Len is driving fast,
and crying while John is recording him,
just before the hurricane hits. Len is driving
and crying, before flying home. John isn’t
crying. Chaos is in the back of the pick-up truck
barking. Len is crying and John isn’t crying.
Chaos is getting excited, he’s sitting up
in the back of the pick-up, and doesn’t
stop barking anytime soon.

Fact is you’re right—
Stevie: in that late 70s
long dress,
mascara
always running.

Stevie: throaty contralto
Welsh witch
with thigh-high
boots
whose latest record

is advertised in the Pillar—
Utah’s only place for up-to-date queer news.
Yep, they got that right,
as in pillar of the community,
as in queer nation

as in some Doric column
somewhere in Greece;
from that immovable temple of ourselves,
as in everyday we are
becoming more fabulous gay men.

Over lattes,
Roger and I practice saying
these spectacular six words
to one another:
Becoming a more fabulous gay man,

Becoming:
as in a lifetime project,
‘a’, an article, as in the beginning
of the alphabet; and well yes,
fabulous:

as in a float full of queers
in New Orleans or New York,
pink spandex, thongs and feathers.
There’s no part
I’m willing to relinquish.

Let me wreck you.
And when you’re driving in my car
Put on your seatbelt.