{"id":1230,"date":"2012-10-18T14:12:46","date_gmt":"2012-10-18T21:12:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sporkpress.com\/fiction\/?p=1230"},"modified":"2012-10-18T14:12:46","modified_gmt":"2012-10-18T21:12:46","slug":"the-push-by-anders-benson","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/2012\/10\/18\/the-push-by-anders-benson\/","title":{"rendered":"The Push by Anders Benson"},"content":{"rendered":"

Trisha\u2019s catheter must be relocated every couple of days, or it will blow the vein. If the vein blows she\u2019ll get a hematoma\u2014a black pocket of blood under her skin that could become infected. If too many veins are blown, her home-care nurses can\u2019t give her the fluids that keep her hydrated and the morphine pushes to get her through the day.
\n     When they move the cath, the clear tape that holds it in place leaves outlines of residue on the back of her hand, grimy oblongs that look like the camouflage of some weird jungle creature. Trisha wonders where the grime comes from, since her hands are never dirty.
\n     On Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays, Connie is Trisha\u2019s nurse. Connie is short and round and always cheerful, which Trisha finds annoying. Nobody should be happy all the time, especially somebody who can\u2019t hold onto a man and turns to Little Debbie for consolation. Connie gabs about her man troubles a lot, which Trisha also finds annoying because she\u2019s never been with a man, never will be with a man, and will die a virgin because she has bulging fish eyes, a deformed neck, and an atrophied, useless body. No man wants to get with a girl who\u2019s stuck in a wheelchair and never leaves the house and is going to die before she\u2019s twenty.
\n     Trisha thinks Connie keeps getting dumped because she\u2019s a total uggo. Not like Salma Hayek; Salma Hayek is beautiful. Connie and Trisha talk about Salma a lot, and they paste pictures of her up on Trisha\u2019s bedroom walls. In the afternoons, they watch the soaps together, but Trisha is sometimes disgusted with the female characters because they\u2019re either spineless floozies or evil bitches with no real purpose. If you\u2019re going to be evil, she thinks, there should be a purpose behind it.
\n     One Monday evening, after Connie has left for the day, Brandon comes into Trisha\u2019s room. Brandon thinks he\u2019s in love with Connie, but Trisha knows that\u2019s only because he\u2019s ugly too and could never get with a beautiful girl. Teasing him about it is the most fun Trisha gets out of having a brother.
\n     \u201cWhat do you want, skeeze?\u201d Trisha says.
\n     \u201cDid Connie leave yet?\u201d Brandon asks, ignoring her jab.
\n     \u201cYou know she did. You\u2019ve been in your room with the door open all day, listening to us. You\u2019re just too chickenshit to come in here and talk to her.\u201d
\n     \u201cShut up, Trish.\u201d
\n     \u201cYou should, you know. You two would make a great couple. You could have fat, ugly babies together.\u201d
\n     \u201cShut up, Trish, Connie\u2019s not ugly.\u201d Brandon\u2019s voice goes up an octave and he turns crimson. \u201cYou\u2019re just jealous.\u201d
\n     \u201cShe is so ugly. She\u2019s fat and dumpy just like you! If you weren\u2019t so chickenshit you\u2019d come in here and talk to her, and then the two of you could go to your room and have sweaty fat ugly sex.\u201d
\n     \u201cShut up!\u201d Brandon says. \u201cDon\u2019t you talk about her that way.\u201d
\n     \u201cOr what? What\u2019re you gonna do?\u201d Trisha fumbles for her joystick and pivots her chair around. \u201cAre you gonna hit me? If you hit me I\u2019ll call the cops, and they\u2019ll take you to jail and you\u2019ll get butt-raped!\u201d
\n     \u201cShut up!\u201d Brandon flees down the hall to his own room. He slams the door, but she can still hear him screaming into his pillow. Brandon has rage issues. He sees a therapist twice a week because of a court order. Trisha thinks it\u2019s hilarious. She wonders if he cries at the therapist\u2019s the way he\u2019s crying now.
\n     
\n

\/\/\/<\/center>
\n     
\n     At fifteen, Trisha was bright-eyed and hopeful, like one of those Make-A-Wish kids on TV. Now, at seventeen, she\u2019s bitter and lonely and she loathes those ignorant kids who think the whole world loves them because they\u2019re special and not because they\u2019re sick.
\n     On Tuesdays and Wednesdays, Richard is Trisha\u2019s nurse. Richard is a skinny guy with a limp brown mustache that he thinks makes him look like a movie star, but to Trish it makes him look like a circus seal. Richard is a sad sack and can\u2019t keep a girl. Trisha thinks it\u2019s because he\u2019s weak and lets them walk all over him.
\n     \u201cYou should be more assertive,\u201d she says. \u201cWomen like it when a man takes charge.\u201d
\n     \u201cReally?\u201d
\n     \u201cYeah, absolutely,\u201d she says, watching him draw up her morphine. \u201cHey, could I have three cee-cees this morning? I hurt really bad.\u201d
\n     \u201cThe order says I can only exceed two if you\u2019re in extreme pain. You know that, Trish.\u201d
\n     \u201cPlease?\u201d she says. \u201cYou know I wouldn\u2019t ask if I didn\u2019t need it. The pain kept me up all night.\u201d
\n     \u201cWell, okay,\u201d he says, drawing up the additional fluid. With methodical care, he slips the needle into her IV cath and empties the syringe into her vein.
\n     \u201cYou know,\u201d Trisha says, as her body floods with pharmaceutical sunshine, \u201cyou should ask Connie out on a date.\u201d
\n     \u201cYou think so?\u201d Richard drops the used syringe iton a little sharps bin.
\n     \u201cOh, yeah. She\u2019s had the worst luck with men lately, and you\u2019re a really nice guy.\u201d
\n     \u201cMaybe I will,\u201d he says.
\n     \u201cJust remember: assertive. Make it seem like it was your idea, and act like you\u2019ve got everything under control. Don\u2019t leave any room for her to doubt you.\u201d
\n     With a smirk, Trisha relaxes in her chair, hoping her brother Brandon is eavesdropping down the hall.
\n     As it turns out, he has been, grinding teeth the entire time.
\n     
\n
\/\/\/<\/center>
\n     
\n     \u201cSo,\u201d Connie says on Friday morning, \u201cRichard called last night.\u201d
\n     \u201cAnd?\u201d Trisha says.
\n     \u201cHe asked me out!\u201d the bright-eyed nurse says.
\n     \u201cThat\u2019s wonderful! I hope you have a good time. You both deserve it.\u201d
\n     \u201cOh, it\u2019s nice of you to say. It was certainly unexpected. He has a whole evening planned; I never figured him for the take-charge type.\u201d
\n     \u201cWell, Connie, he\u2019s not as together as he seems. Let him see you as a confident, independent woman. It will reinforce his own confidence,\u201d Trisha preaches, quoting straight out of Cosmo.
\n     \u201cOf course, Trish. I\u2019m not going to make the same old mistakes this time.\u201d
\n     Connie is upbeat and cheery for the rest of the day. It makes her extra-agreeable when it comes time for the morphine pushes.
\n     
\n
\/\/\/<\/center>
\n     
\n     \u201cHow was your date?\u201d Trisha asks on Monday morning.
\n     Connie\u2019s smile doesn\u2019t turn up at the corners quite as much as usual. \u201cWe had fun,\u201d she says, \u201cbut he was a little bossy.\u201d
\n     \u201cOh, he\u2019s just nervous,\u201d Trisha says. \u201cI think he\u2019s been browbeaten by some domineering women, and now he\u2019s over-compensating. Keep showing him you\u2019re strong, and the two of you will get along fine.\u201d
\n     \u201cYou\u2019re probably right,\u201d Connie nods, her mood brightening as she taps a fresh vein on Trisha\u2019s arm. \u201cIt really wasn\u2019t that much of a problem. We\u2019re going out again this Friday.\u201d
\n     
\n
\/\/\/<\/center>
\n     
\n     \u201cI feel like she was sending me these really mixed signals,\u201d Richard says, frowning, the next day. \u201cI tried to be assertive, like you said, but she seemed a little stand-offish, you know?\u201d
\n     Trish pretends to hesitate before responding. \u201cRichard, I, no, I shouldn\u2019t,\u201d she says.
\n     \u201cWhat?\u201d
\n     \u201cWell, it\u2019s kind of private. If she finds out I told you.\u201d
\n     \u201cPlease tell me. I won\u2019t let on, Trish, I promise.\u201d
\n     \u201cWell, Connie has some, issues,\u201d Trisha says, the lie blooming from inside her. \u201cHer dad, he was really abusive to her mother, and that\u2019s kind of what she expects from a man. Little girls always go through a phase when they want to marry their fathers, only she never outgrew it.\u201d
\n     \u201cYou mean I should abuse her?\u201d
\n     \u201cNo, not like that. Just let her know you\u2019re the man. You\u2019re in charge. Although, if it comes to it, like, in the bedroom?\u201d
\n     \u201cYeah?\u201d Richard leans in.
\n     \u201cLet\u2019s just say she likes it rough.\u201d
\n     \u201cIf that\u2019s what she enjoys, I suppose I can do that. You\u2019re sure about this?\u201d
\n     \u201cYeah, she told me that it totally gets her off. Women share this kind of stuff.\u201d
\n     Richard nods as though he understands perfectly, which he doesn\u2019t. Way better than the soaps, Trisha thinks.
\n     
\n
\/\/\/<\/center>
\n     
\n     On Monday, Richard is in the hospital. Trisha laughed aloud when she read the article in the Sunday paper. Reportedly, Connie\u2019s neighbors heard a disturbance late Friday night; first a lot of shouting, then something crashing against the wall. They called the police. According to the official statement, Richard was arrested for sexually assaulting Connie, but the charges were dropped the following morning. Trisha was a little disappointed by that part, though still pleased with her handiwork.
\n     Brandon did not find it so funny when she showed him the article. He did not find it funny at all, and that afternoon went to Richard\u2019s house and attacked him with a kitchen knife. Then, like an idiot, he ran straight home and hidden in the cellar. Trisha watched with glee from her window as the police dragged her handcuffed brother down the front walk and stuffed him into the back of a cruiser. Their mother was distraught, their father fuming; of course, they didn\u2019t know the whole story.
\n     Connie comes in late this morning. She seems her usual chipper self, in spite of the traumatic weekend she\u2019s had. She waves a glossy magazine in the air as she walks into Trisha\u2019s bedroom.
\n     \u201cSeen the latest Vogue? Salma made the cover again!\u201d
\n     Trish can\u2019t figure Connie\u2019s game, but decides to play along. \u201cCool, is she inside?\u201d
\n     \u201cA twelve page interview, with lots of pictures.\u201d
\n     \u201cAwesome, read it to me.\u201d
\n     \u201cNo.\u201d Connie\u2019s smile drops in a heartbeat. Unlocking the medical cabinet, she selects a fresh hypodermic syringe\u2014a big one. \u201cYou know,\u201d she says, \u201cRichard called me from jail. He told me all the awful things you said to him, how you manipulated him into hurting me. That\u2019s why I dropped the charges.\u201d
\n     \u201cSo?\u201d Trisha says.
\n     \u201cSo, you may not have to suffer the consequences of your actions much longer, but the rest of us will bear them for the rest of our lives. Richard lost almost five feet of his lower intestine from your brother\u2019s attack, but you probably hurt him more than Brandon did. And poor Brandon\u2019s eighteen now; he won\u2019t be going to counseling this time, he\u2019ll go to prison. You\u2019ve practically ruined his life.\u201d
\n     \u201cLike I give a shit about my brother,\u201d Trisha says. \u201cHe\u2019s an asshole.\u201d
\n     \u201cPatricia, you are a liar, a shrew, and an addict. We cared for you, and you played with us like little toys.\u201d Connie turns around and yanks the battery cable out of Trisha\u2019s wheelchair, immobilizing the crippled teenager before she can react.
\n     Trisha eyes the syringe in the nurse\u2019s other hand. \u201cSo what are you gonna do, Connie, overdose me on morphine? That\u2019s murder. They\u2019ll put you away.\u201d
\n     \u201cI\u2019m not giving you morphine, Trish,\u201d Connie says, drawing the plunger back. \u201cAbout six cee-cees of air ought to do it. Pulmonary embolisms are a risk for someone in your condition; they\u2019ll assume it was natural. I\u2019ll wait fifteen minutes and call the paramedics. I\u2019ll tell them I was fixing your lunch and found you dead when I came back upstairs. Even if they resuscitate you, you\u2019ll be a vegetable.\u201d
\n     She grasps Trisha\u2019s wrist and slides the needle into the cath. \u201cBy the way, my father was a saint,\u201d she says, and gives Trisha the push.
\n     
\n     
\n\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013
\nAnders Benson<\/strong> lives with his wife in the mountains of western Maine. He has held a variety of occupations including welding and steel fabrication, pet care service, and railroad car mechanics. Anders’s work has appeared in Gemini Magazine<\/em>, Diverse Voices Quarterly<\/em>, and Soundings East<\/em>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Trisha\u2019s catheter must be relocated every couple of days, or it will blow the vein. If the vein blows she\u2019ll get a hematoma\u2014a black pocket of blood under her skin that could become infected. If too many veins are blown, her home-care nurses can\u2019t give her the fluids that keep her hydrated and the morphine […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1230","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-things"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1230","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1230"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1230\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1230"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1230"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1230"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}