{"id":4440,"date":"2013-10-20T19:09:11","date_gmt":"2013-10-20T19:09:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sporkpress.com\/?p=4440"},"modified":"2013-10-20T19:09:11","modified_gmt":"2013-10-20T19:09:11","slug":"fossil-people-by-stephen-moles-part-two","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/2013\/10\/20\/fossil-people-by-stephen-moles-part-two\/","title":{"rendered":"Fossil People by Stephen Moles (part two)"},"content":{"rendered":"
10.<\/div>\n

     
\nCustomer reviews: How to Read (Hardback)<\/strong><\/span>
\n     
\n****<\/strong> Intellectual property, 18 Mar 2013<\/strong>
\nBy Hi Jolly<\/span> \u2013 see all my reviews<\/span>
\nThis arrived at a very modern speed and was in excellent condition. It works very well alongside Crowley. A perfect holiday read!
\nWas this review helpful to you? Yes No
\n     
\n**<\/strong> A miscarried telegram, 24 Feb 2013<\/strong>
\nBy Limey<\/span> \u2013 see all my reviews<\/span>
\nThe term \u201choly\u201d is a synonym for \u201csloppy\u201d where I come from. Any old machine can print a timeline. Not enough information on Monte Cristo or European Law.
\nWas this review helpful to you? Yes No
\n     
\n***** It will be found, 4 Jan 2013<\/strong>
\nBy Olive slops<\/span> \u2013 see all my reviews<\/span>
\nI bought this book after a friend told me about it over a nice lunch. I searched all over the internet but in the end I had to ask my teacher for a copy. I didn\u2019t regret it. It comes in either black or green casing. The entire character type is confident and cunning. If you save one book, make it this one.
\nWas this review helpful to you? Yes No
\n     
\n* Churchill\u2019s lies, 29 Dec 2012<\/strong>
\nBy 20th Century Po<\/span> \u2013 see all my reviews<\/span>
\nIt was shortly after the publication of this book that the British began referring to the end of the week as \u201cthe grave\u201d. Over 500 cases of the maddest, queerest things happening in hotels were reported in the 1930s. My house is evidence of their evil purposes. Any intelligent man who reads this will see the downsides.
\nWas this review helpful to you? Yes No
\n     
\n***** I\u2019d say this is what you\u2019re looking for, 26 Dec 2012<\/strong>
\nBy French pilgrim<\/span> \u2013 see all my reviews<\/span>
\nYou\u2019re never going to get the exact number of truths, so this kind of rectifier, however clumsy, is tomorrow\u2019s newspaper. If you become really imaginative, you can cut holes in the pages with scissors. When you look straight through, it\u2019s like hearing a great man speak.
\nWas this review helpful to you? Yes No
\n     
\n*** The culture that never was, 28 Oct 2012<\/strong>
\nBy Artificial light transcriber<\/span> \u2013 see all my reviews<\/span>
\nAs a lightning illustrator, this guy is second to none. I respect the fifteenth chapter in particular, but his failure to see the simple things left me in a stew. By not giving the work a recognizable miracle, he fell foul of strict censorship laws. An original but incomplete work.
\nWas this review helpful to you? Yes No
\n     
\n**** Stationery is a secular system, 7 Sept 2012<\/strong>
\nBy Nose inventions<\/span> \u2013 see all my reviews<\/span>
\nStationary is a secular system that generates black ink and red faces. How to Read was written and edited by five different authors. To help children master the book, a line of words in the sand is recommended. Two new names have been added to the list of victims.
\nWas this review helpful to you? Yes No
\n     
\n     <\/p>\n

11.<\/div>\n

     
\n     My index finger was a bulk of nutrients hovering over the camera as the dolphins finished their sculpture of a clock with a beard.
\n     \u201cIs it me or do their noses look sore?\u201d Rebekah asked.
\n     \u201cYes,\u201d I said. \u201cThat\u2019s why I want to take a photo: evidence.\u201d
\n     Just as I was about to bring my digit down on the button, an unexpected voice made my entire body go tight with surprise.
\n     \u201cYou not do that!\u201d the old lady with the cylinders shouted at me. \u201cNo photograph dolphin!\u201d
\n     \u201cWhy?\u201d I asked, putting down my camera like rain.
\n     \u201cDolphin is shy creature. Have hole in back, but is not for candles. Camera make false statement.\u201d
\n     \u201cOh.\u201d
\n     \u201cI know cost of trouble to follow. You have big hands.\u201d
\n     \u201cOh yeah,\u201d I said, creating a circular pattern with my thinking, \u201cwe forgot to applaud.\u201d
\n     Rebekah and I clapped ourselves into premature baldness in an attempt to communicate the depth of our appreciation for the dolphins. They bristled with attention for the duration of our handmade music, but that didn\u2019t stop the poor animals looking like a bunch of sad kids with mines for faces.
\n     \u201cI think this is a turning point,\u201d Rebekah whispered to me.
\n     \u201cIt most certainly is,\u201d I agreed.
\n     When the old lady shook her cylinders at us, I decided to throw her a question instead of money. I inquired about the welfare of the dolphins and the low ceiling of the situation.
\n     \u201cYou should pay more monies if you think welfare is bad,\u201d she said. \u201cWhat can we do? It all ends in the end. And do not try riding off island on dolphin \u2013 other English try, and that is how they die. Do not even think it!\u201d
\n     The idea of riding off the island on dolphins had not even crossed my mind before the old lady mentioned it, but it was given a permanent corner in my thoughts after that. She started a little vortex and threw it away in the future with her warning.
\n     \u201cPeople died trying to ride the dolphins?\u201d I asked.
\n     \u201cYes. Is only way they die, no matter what newspaper say. Check on yourself with suspicious eyes. Riding away can not be done. Do not try! Only way you two leave island is through tomb.\u201d
\n     \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d
\n     \u201cImagine space with nothing in. Imagine building where all other resident must stop talking. All toadies looking through glass get stiffness in joints until see five minutes of consciousness.\u201d
\n     I tried to imagine what the old lady described, but the image dissolved in the shadow of a harsh opinion.
\n     She continued talking about the tomb in various shapes and colours until Rebekah and I were left trading lower on some unpleasant feelings.
\n     \u201cI don\u2019t understand,\u201d Rebekah said.
\n     \u201cYou will,\u201d the old lady replied. \u201cIt will be your new home forever.\u201d
\n     
\n     <\/p>\n

12.<\/div>\n

     
\n     In certain areas of the world it is common practice to feed animals by stuffing snacks into their ears. It is believed that mergers between food and sound can create more social creatures. Camels, wolves and cows have been shown to be more charming when fed this way.
\n     The genital areas of most animals have the law of objects acting on them. If a mature eye focuses its attention on even an inch, nervousness will set in.
\n     Adding citrus juice to the water will make the fish taste better. Dolphins spend most of their time below the surface and tend to compensate for poor visibility by drawing red lines in the sand. Under laboratory conditions, dolphins can identify objects in a closed mouth with a 90% success rate.
\n     The evacuation network was created after someone was spotted hitting a fox with another fox. Soon after, a fishing vessel in the Atlantic ocean was completely destroyed by sperm.
\n     When the women came home, they were covered in bite marks. Their partners, who were all teachers, used sponges on them. The women were reluctant to talk about their injuries \u2013 all they would say is that they got them while out swimming.
\n     Competition among females can sometimes result in acts of extreme aggression. Even female plants have been known to destroy each other. Male oak trees have been observed slowly migrating from one forest to another to get away from the violence.
\n     When the stunned creature fell to the ground, a ball rolled out of one of its ears. The ball had pores and hairs on its surface. It was later served to a wealthy British diner, who paid \u00a3640 for it.
\n     
\n     <\/p>\n

13.<\/div>\n

     
\n     The rumor started spreading through the hotel at around 7pm. The first sign was a low murmuring coming from the other rooms. Within less than an hour, people were knocking on our door and asking to see our wedding rings.
\n     \u201cIt\u2019s not natural,\u201d one man said.
\n     When Rebekah and I went down to the restaurant around 9pm, there was a distressed face in the air. As we sat down at our table, the other diners turned their heads and clenched their jaws to suppress humbugs. Someone had spread the rumor all over the walls.
\n     \u201cThe pool is open if you wish to get clean,\u201d a woman said with an artificial smile.
\n     \u201cWe\u2019re fine, thanks,\u201d Rebekah replied.
\n     We were informed that the rumor had found its way into the kitchen, causing the food to be contaminated. The conversation was a deep cut.
\n     Rebekah and I felt our way through a windowless box that was about to be burned. When we tried to return to our room, three women were blocking the door.
\n     \u201cThere\u2019s a vicious rumor inside,\u201d one of them said. \u201cYou can\u2019t go in.\u201d
\n     \u201cBut we need to sleep,\u201d Rebekah pleaded. \u201cCan\u2019t we get rid of it?\u201d
\n     \u201cIt\u2019s too vicious,\u201d the same woman stated before signalling a high price to her sidekicks.
\n     \u201cBut where will we sleep?\u201d
\n     \u201cDon\u2019t pretend you don\u2019t know.\u201d
\n     \u201cI don\u2019t know!\u201d Rebekah cried as she and I were forcibly led away by the women. \u201cWhere are you taking us?\u201d
\n     \u201cTo the end.\u201d
\n     
\n     <\/p>\n

14.<\/div>\n

     
\nLady Alison<\/strong> @saxman22 8yrs ago
\nThe Discovery Channel needs to do a documentary on this place! #discoverychannel #powderisland<\/strong>
\n     
\nBig Harps<\/strong> @offendedjeff 8yrs ago
\nI just ate the best sandwich of my life. #powderisland #holidayofalifetime #neverreturningtoengland<\/strong>
\n     
\nEnigmama<\/strong> @specialbranch 7yrs ago
\nWalking through the trees here reminds me of walking through a library. #powderisland #books #magic<\/strong>
\n     
\nBe Seated<\/strong> @pillpatter7yrs ago
\nReports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. #powderisland #rumors<\/strong>
\n     
\nElizabeth Hardcore<\/strong> @cpuduck 7yrs ago
\nSome crazy-ass shit just happened!!! #powderisland #supernatural #tomb<\/strong>
\n     
\nMedium Brother<\/strong> @joethelime 6yrs ago
\nJust saw someone choke to death on a bone. #death #powderisland #traumatized<\/strong>
\n     
\nCollectaball<\/strong> @bubblez 6yrs ago
\nApparently the airport has been blown up. #disaster #stranded #powderisland<\/strong>
\n     
\nKepthub Child<\/strong> @ottovonmisters 6yrs ago
\nI had a nightmare about drowning last night. #nightmare #powderisland<\/strong>
\n     
\nIsaac Thing<\/strong> @futureself2464 1wk ago
\nJust arrived. Rebekah and I are in paradise. #honeymoon #powderisland<\/strong>
\n     
\nIsaac Thing<\/strong> @futureself2464 1wk ago
\nDolphins are the most incredible creatures. #dolphins #foam #powderisland<\/strong>
\n     
\nIsaac Thing<\/strong> @futureself2464 2hrs ago
\nOK… this is starting to get a bit weird now #wtf #powderisland #sos<\/strong>
\n     
\n     <\/p>\n

15.<\/div>\n

     
\n     We were herded to the tomb by the islanders on the day we were meant to fly home. Their faces were cocked with excitement as they puffed up their chests to create a point of no return. Our physical influence created no more than a couple of red words in the sand as we were pushed and shoved to the stone platform.
\n     \u201cBe good now, English!\u201d
\n     Our honeymoon had changed from a romantic training manual to a thug\u2019s prayer book.
\n     \u201cSorry, I do not see you, demigods.\u201d
\n     After a scandal breaks, perfection is likely to be violent. The huge group of people affected by the event made a strong wind that caused waves of perfection to crash violently on the shore.
\n     \u201cWhere are the dolphins today?\u201d I asked.
\n     \u201cAll chained up underwater,\u201d the hotel manager answered.
\n     Rebekah and I were mixed in with the coastal particles as our neighbors washed a zone of concessions away. The sand shouldered our burden before swallowing its exhaustion.
\n     \u201cThis is the tomb,\u201d the hotel manager explained. \u201cThis is where the dolphins lay their eggs.\u201d
\n     We peered inside and saw two large bones lying side by side at the bottom.
\n     \u201cYou probably didn\u2019t know that dolphins lay eggs,\u201d he explained. \u201cBut they do. Dolphins, camels and wolves all do it. They create beautiful, white eggs like these.\u201d
\n     \u201cBut they don\u2019t look like eggs,\u201d Rebekah said. \u201cThey look like bones.\u201d
\n     \u201cHa! The English believe their own lies.\u201d
\n     The natives shot a few bullets of mockery into the air.
\n     \u201cYes,\u201d the hotelier went on. \u201cThe glorification of words coincides with a decline in spiritual power. England is still a tiny country in some people\u2019s eyes. A lot of important personalities believe a certain cigar-smoking prime minister sent a valuable book up the river for a brief memory.\u201d
\n     \u201cListen,\u201d I said. \u201cWe don\u2019t want to be fossil people. I\u2019ve already said I don\u2019t see what\u2019s so good about being English.\u201d
\n     \u201cBeing born English is no coincidence.\u201d
\n     I looked at Rebekah and saw that she was weeping silently into the tomb. She was wincing as if in pain and sending a letter of tears down the hole.
\n     \u201cGood one,\u201d snorted the hotel owner on seeing my wife sob. \u201cThe more you water the eggs, the quicker they will hatch.\u201d
\n     \u201cWhat do you want from us?\u201d I asked, looking around at the thick crowd.
\n     \u201cWe want you to damn the balance of your house,\u201d a short woman said.
\n     \u201cPut our ghost problem to bed,\u201d a creepy-looking man in the background shouted.
\n     \u201cTransmit the hell of a body to the plasma generation,\u201d said a boy whose left shoulder was bigger than his head.
\n     \u201cOK,\u201d I said defiantly. \u201cWe will.\u201d
\n     I took my hands from my crotch slots and grabbed hold of Rebekah. We both knew what we had to do. We leaned forward with great determination, making the depths of despair difficult to avoid.
\n     In that moment of brutality, there were secrets twinkling in our toes.
\n     Existence was the only barrier to eternity.
\n     
\n     <\/p>\n

16.<\/div>\n

     
\n     Hello? Yes. Yes, I can speak. Uh-huh. It\u2019s an enigma, but I\u2019ll try. I\u2019ve known Isaac and Rebekah for eight years now. I met them when we were studying in Dover. Both of them had only very minor flaws. Yes, yes. They were initially thinking about going to Miami for their honeymoon. Something about chemicals in the water. There are many disaster zones in the world, of course. I saw them off at the airport and I did notice that she looked a little sad. Ashamed? It\u2019s possible. Sad, ashamed, fearful \u2013 there was certainly something painful in her concept of travel. Isaac was fretting about taxes. He was also trying to draw my attention to a tour of some sort. I remember thinking it would be silent all the way back home. Hmmm. It\u2019s common sense to point out the differences and interpret the work of providence. When he showed me the tickets, he attracted the attention of a Greek guard who felt impelled to express his opinion. He may have been wrong, but a full translation of the gaps was common courtesy. \u201cIt\u2019s very kind of you and your lips to give it a thought,\u201d he said. When the plane took off, there was some skin hanging in the air. Lemon furniture and miniature blue men overlooked the street. No. Where the neck begins. Yes, I am certain of that. If I\u2019d known they\u2019d end up like that, I\u2019d never have let them travel. It\u2019s so sad when a young couple are found in pieces. It\u2019s the opposite of good. Yes. OK, I will. Thank you, officer. Goodbye.
\n     
\n     <\/p>\n

17.<\/div>\n

     
\n\u201cAnd Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.\u201d
\n     
\n     
\n\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013\u2013
\nThe\u00a0Stephen\u00a0Moles<\/strong>\u00a0from Clacton-on-Sea scrolls a soft object in his spare time, bluffing the anvil and pen in\u00a0Gone Lawn<\/i>,\u00a0Red Fez<\/i>,\u00a0Pif<\/i>,\u00a0Swamp Biscuits and Tea<\/i>,\u00a0Why Vandalism?<\/i>\u00a0and others.\u00a0He has been nominated for a log cabin of fiction, displaying the cosmos like a prose animal with handwriting on the walls. The players of the future can enjoy the hot, young click of a full stop<\/strong>.<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

10.       Customer reviews: How to Read (Hardback)       **** Intellectual property, 18 Mar 2013 By Hi Jolly \u2013 see all my reviews This arrived at a very modern speed and was in excellent condition. It works very well alongside Crowley. A perfect holiday read! Was this review helpful to you? Yes No       ** […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,3,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4440","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-fiction","category-things"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4440","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4440"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4440\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4440"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4440"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4440"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}