{"id":524,"date":"2012-12-04T02:00:04","date_gmt":"2012-12-04T02:00:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sporkpress.com\/poetry\/?p=524"},"modified":"2012-12-04T02:00:04","modified_gmt":"2012-12-04T02:00:04","slug":"3-poems-by-tyson-bley","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/2012\/12\/04\/3-poems-by-tyson-bley\/","title":{"rendered":"3 Poems By Tyson Bley"},"content":{"rendered":"

YOU SHIT FREAKY SHIT<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I’ve always been unhappy about my gym wig promoting
\nthe vague psychiatric meatball underneath.
\nBut my thoughts are willing to assemble an asylum from ozone nails;
\nI am grateful to the mutant wheelchairs, for the general
\nsetting up of a peaceful, delightful alternate reality in which the
\nsynapses of a gorilla may forfeit their hideous bed-smell.<\/p>\n

A boxing glove on a spring haunts on a whim. More importantly,
\nit attaches to everything. It can be traced back to a larger
\ndiversity of fish green chaos. Pee-colored mattresses ensuing
\nfrom abrupt, violent delays in the metropolis, seamless odd-shaped
\nblood splatter swirling weirdly in graves. When the superhero
\ninsect-fucks the thug, the latter accepts that the former is not
\nremovable \u2013 siphoning mauve cancer from ubiquitous pores.<\/p>\n

You shit freaky shit while munching on the finger of doom.
\nYou shit freaky shit while staring into the hypno-shower curtain.
\n_____________________________________________<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

CRYPTO-SCARECROW<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

HAL was evil. He was also a sock puppet. I am going
\nto try and explain why he was evil. As a rule, sock puppets
\nare evil to begin with; but take a closer look at
\nwhat happened toward the end of the movie. Upon
\nbeing handled, the nest in HAL’s mind altered,
\nbecame excited like gross floss, wriggling and hardening
\ninto skin wound tightly around the handler’s hand.
\nA swarm of dairy tubes, wet and yellow and busy.<\/p>\n

As long as the soul remains unused, its rubber prostheses
\nmay find themselves entangled in airy uncertainty.
\nAnd then you become evil.<\/p>\n

Because I watched the movie and because I want
\nto keep my mind healthy and my bowels regular,
\nI am the only one of my friends who’s into yoga.
\nBecause none of my friends have seen the movie.
\nSpeaking of being ‘regular’: weird shit happens in my
\nyoga class, and it’s perhaps our master’s fault,
\nwho claims to be so regular as to be holy.
\n\u201cNormally when beings take a dump,\u201d he told the class,
\n\u201cflies come staggering in through the stink-haze.
\nBut when I take a dump, birds leak in through
\nthe still, unruffled air.\u201d To prove his point, the yoga master
\nhad yesterday tricked a tree into standing on his mat. It stood
\nwhere he had stood, and in fact still was standing. It
\nlooked awkward \u2013 and no birds came and perched in
\nits branches. It stood on buried gas. Roots coiling around
\na dead baby troll. Lifting and sagging one inch every minute,
\ntemperamental. A mere composition of weak
\nnervous tremors was all it was, but still.
\nOur epileptic crypto-scarecrow is pretty disturbing.
\nThe most morbid part of the session, usually,
\nis when the local superhero who goes by the (very apt)
\nmoniker Aqua-Chicken, crosses his legs on his mat
\nand rainbows complexly stain his nutsack.<\/p>\n

I am very afraid of germs at our yoga class. There are
\nfour porn actors and one scientist in my class. I make
\na point of being surrounded by them at all times. I’ve put my mat
\nright next to the scientist’s mat. While countless germs incur
\nserious injuries in a single porn video, not as many
\nbloat bloody green as in the Large Hadron Collider.
\nBeasts of the small world: I admit I am jealous of your evil.
\nIt must be a blast. You must find it as fun as party blower blood transfusions.<\/p>\n

_____________________________________________<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

KARDASHIAN YARD SALE<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

there’s nothing wrong with
\nan Ephemerol baby training
\nits mental ice-pick on Mickey Mouse<\/p>\n

\u2013 watching him go ball-shaped,
\nfractures in his black drywall<\/p>\n

spitting and slingshotting \u2013<\/p>\n

any amount of decay tucked around
\nhot beer-vacating nano-cannons
\nat the frequency of a broken Santa lamp
\nand a hoarder’s psychedelic candle<\/p>\n

there’s nothing wrong with tearing your sheets
\nbetween your legs in front of a specific part of dinosaur
\nthe noisy wart not scary on something like a Kardashian
\ntrying to build their own porno \u201cchair scene\u201d<\/p>\n

imprinted on our ears e.g. the demonstrably
\nnasty tone of the yard sale rectum<\/p>\n

a toggle for easier operation<\/p>\n

_____________________________________________
\nTyson Bley <\/strong>walks dogs for a living. He writes mainly about these experiences. He is the author of Normal Service Will Resume Shortly. He can be located at http:\/\/soapstain.blogspot.com\/<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

YOU SHIT FREAKY SHIT   I’ve always been unhappy about my gym wig promoting the vague psychiatric meatball underneath. But my thoughts are willing to assemble an asylum from ozone nails; I am grateful to the mutant wheelchairs, for the general setting up of a peaceful, delightful alternate reality in which the synapses of a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-524","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-things"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/524","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=524"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/524\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=524"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=524"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thisissporkpress.com\/archive\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=524"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}